Donor Baby

Well I don’t know if I can call it troubles, not real troubles like the terrible suffering going on in the world. But trouble for me as I’m a sensitive soul and of course all I care about is that Bee is properly looked-after, to which end like most parents I’ll do anything at all… But of course then I’m also upset if people don’t like me! Doesn’t help being alone – not only being single, but working alone on top of that, plus not having family nearby so with the combination I probably spend more hours alone in a week that a lot of people do in a lifetime. I have to move on from discord and focus on the positive – Bee is of course utterly amazing. Except her new favourite thing is pulling my hair!! The good side of this is when I ask her to say sorry I get a kiss, as Bee has decided that’s how she says sorry, and a kiss from Bee always makes my day.

Back to the nursery…Bee is hugely attached to a huge teddy which my v.good friend Aunty Anne gave her. Teddy is almost the size of Bee, and she spends most of her time carrying him round with her plus her bottle, which she’s no longer meant to have but I am far too stressed trying to earn us a living to do ‘project get Bee off her bottle’ at the moment. Plus apparently in Germany it’s normal for all children to keep their bottle up until the age of three! Anyway Teddy is less important during the day at nursery as she is so excited having so many little children exactly the same age to play with plus all the glitter and sandpits etc. But still – when Teddy disappeared in the morning the least her keyworker J could have done was have a quick look for him – every morning I put Bee into her arms followed by Teddy and bottle so she knows they go together. At the end of the day T was nowhere to be seen, it ended up with myself plus three nursery staff looking for him for nearly an hour. I was a bit panicked – Bee sobs if she even drops T in the car and I can’t reach from the front seat to pick him up, let alone lose him completely. In the end one of the staff had the idea of borrowing another teddy from the nursery, brilliant! This one was even bigger than Bee, she looked hysterical lugging about this ginormous creature, but she persevered valiantly and didn’t seem to realise something wasn’t quite right! Until the next day when we went to nursery and J had found him, he had spent the day being rained on behind a tunnel in the garden. No apology for not looking for him once, I know that doesn’t matter really…

…But what did matter from the previous day was that Bee had been in the bigger people’s room from 5pm ( – I collect her at 5.45pm) and she hadn’t had her bottle, new staff member K had been told by one of Bee’s regular carers F that she wasn’t to have a bottle at 5pm as they were stopping them. I was quite worried by this as Bee was really thirsty. I asked keyworker J the next morning who said that she wouldn’t stop Bee’s bottle without talking to me, she had had her bottle for a long time and so didn’t need one and had drunk her 16oz of milk for the day and she’s not meant to have more than 16oz – this is what worries me, I know she has too much milk but she always has too much milk anyway because I haven’t managed to cut it down so what’s the point in suddenly leaving her without any? – I said she could have had water instead – J said she had water at her last meal-time but I said that was 3pm, that’s nearly three hours before, that’s too long – J said there’s always water available, I would never leave her without water, but I left at five – I said what do you mean AVAILABLE?? She should have been given a beaker or a bottle with water or watered down milk, she was really thirsty. J didn’t apologize and just repeated that water was available etc…

It was the most RIDICULOUS conversation. Saying water is always AVAILABLE to a seventeen-month old toddler is just a load of absolute old bollocks. Bee is very petite for her age, although she’s doing very well, if I hold her up to the tap she can even get a cup herself and put water in it, of course sinks aren’t toddler-height or they would all flood the nursery continually, their very favourite thing is playing with water. You can’t leave a toddler access to pick up a beaker of water whenever he or she wants as once they’ve had a drink, they will, guaranteed at this age, turn the beaker or cup upside down to have fun watching the water dribble or spill out onto the floor, then swirl it around with their hands, or jump in it, and slip and break their backs on the nursery floor-tiles. You give a toddler a drink or you don’t. You don’t say water is AVAILABLE. I think I may have seen jugs of water and cups in the bigger room when I first viewed the nursery but they weren’t there after 5pm, and anyway Bee is far too little to have the strength to pick up a whole jug of water and aim and pour it into a cup on her own. (K hadn’t given her any water as was told she didn’t need anything.) Ok rant over. I don’t think J is talking to me now!!

As I, ahem, ‘mentioned’ in my last post, I am not too keen on our city at the moment…I am thinking that as Bee is seventeen months old already, I think she will be moved rooms at aged two which is only in seven months time, I will ring to check later, if this is the case this would be a really good time to look at moving as Bee will be really unhappy to be taken away from J anyway, so if she has to have such a big change it might not be much more of a change to change nurseries if we move to a different area. The 0-2 year olds room is absolutely adorable and perfect for them, but the bigger room for two upwards is nothing special, lacks the special cosy super-caring atmosphere and Bee would be lacking her beloved J also so it would already be such a big change for such a little person…Something to think about…